Fear Factor

Although i have never watched a full episode, i have seen snippets and get the ridiculous concept of the show Fear Factor.  Contestants are presented with grueling or disgusting challenges that make the viewer want to either vomit or crawl out of their skin.  i've always wondered what sort of crazy person would freely volunteer to put themselves in those situations and in front of an audience none the less.   That is  how i felt about driving here in the UAE even before arriving.  You might as well have asked me to eat a live bug.  It ranked pretty much up there with snakes slithering all over me and to top it off there is not even prize money involved.


i was perfectly content to let Dubai Taxi take me wherever i needed to go until i realized even that option could result in an immediate elimination.


2 minutes into a cab ride one day i learned that people in Nepal (including taxi drivers new to Dubai) drive on the opposite  WRONG side of road.  (Not only were his driving skills lacking so was his English.)        


Me:  YOU ARE DRIVING ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD!!
Him:  Yes, ma'am only here 6 months.
Me:  GET OVER TO THE RIGHT!!
Him: Yes, Nepal only 6 months
Me: SEE THAT CAR COMING?! (My hands are now frantically flailing over his shoulder to communicate what words obviously are not.)
Him: I drive there, new to Dub.... OH!!  (Oncoming car finally brought about an understanding of the immediate situation.)

Yes, it was all fine in the end as we were on a quiet road but my heart was still hammering out of my chest.  (Hindsight i am wondering how on earth with all my yelling and frantic motioning of hands he thought we were having a "So, where are you from?" sort of conversation.)   

After about a month of taxi service i was DONE and ready to get behind the wheel and plunge into my Fear.  As a licensed US driver, i showed my California driver's license to the local governing authority, paid a fee,  presented my husband's letter of consent allowing me permission to drive and in no time i am an official UAE licensed driver.  Other nationalities are required to take and pass an expensive driving course which is vigorous and extremely difficult to pass (yet once capable of doing so STILL drive on the wrong side of the road).  i could write endless stories on the driving rules madness, but to spare you the details, let me just list the most important and most often practiced rules of the UAE road.


1.  You are not to exceed 120 KPM UNLESS you flash your headlights on and off to warn drivers directly in front of your immediate approaching, in which case there is no longer a speed limit.


2.  Lanes painted on the road are only suggestions.  Straddling the painted line is most advisable.


3.  Many children should be placed in your car without restraints.  They should be free to move, run and jump about the vehicle at all times.


4.  Horns should be loud and used with much frequency.


5.  Roundabouts are to be considered a daily game of pin ball.


6.  In order to guarantee arrival from point A to point B head in the complete opposite direction, make a U turn and come back.

(True and accurate directions from point A-B) 

7.  Backing up on a freeway is completely acceptable to avoid rule #6.


8.  Pedestrians are allowed to run cross 5 lanes freeway traffic at any point or hour of the day.


9.  Consider yourself LUCKY if you arrive at a new destination for the first time without getting lost or calling for directions.  If you accomplish this task on time you will have witnessed a rare phenomenon.


10.  Signage depicting a blue circle with 2 arrow typically translates as;  Pick a lane any lane, where you end up nobody knows.

11.  It is both possible and likely your car will be totaled while in a parking garage.


12.  Do not be alarmed if you find yourself completely lost in a mall parking garage.


13.  All parking stalls are extra small.  It is most advisable to back into said stall so that upon exiting you will have an unobstructed view of the cars about to hit you.


14.  Speed bumps are the safest point of crossing for pedestrians as it forces speeding sports cars to slow down.


15.  If at any time you don't feel like abiding by rules 1-14 create your own path by off roading through the sand.

(Shortcut to school)

Considering the road rules above and the fact that within 21/2 months i have changed rental cars 8 times... 8 TIMES!... you may understand my slight fear of driving.  (In case you think i jest, the car rental run down;  Jetta,  Toureg,  Audi,  Audi,  Landcruiser,  Toureg,  Ford,  Mitsubishi.)




In addition to fear there is the "make you crawl out of your skin" part of driving... Directions.  As in there ARE none.  Most places don't have addresses or even street names so when you need to get somewhere you have to know the nearest land mark and hope you get lucky.  At times this can be absolutely maddening.  Like the time i received this text.

i dutifully looked up the Media City Post Office for "directions" and found it was located in BUILDING 14 in Media City.  After scrutinizing for 15 minutes every angle of Google Maps to find out what Building 14 was next to,  i drove my little temporary rental car to "Building 14."  When i pulled up i asked the parking attendant if i had truly arrived at "Building 14?!"  i mean i got there in record time without getting lost or even asking for directions.  He assured me this was indeed Building 14 in Media City.   (Yes, i pretty much did a little happy dance right there in my car!)  Gathering up all my necessary paperwork, and strutting up the steps to Building 14 i am relishing my fabulousness.  i mean, i have great mapping skills, my ability to navigate Dubai roads and directions is amazing,  and i am patting myself on the back for figuring this place out and am starting to think driving here really isn't THAT bad.  i reach the building's security guard and ask him to point me to direction of the Post Office.

Him:  Oh Madam, you are at the wrong location.

Me: This is Media City, right?!

Him: Yes

Me: Building 14?

Him: Yes

Me: (Pulling out my phone and holding it up to his face.) i was told i had to be here to pick up my ID card.

Him: Yes Madam, this happens all the time.  The Post Office hasn't been in this building for over a year.  Everyone comes here first.  You really have to go to Knowledge Village Building 7.

Me: (Blank stare) Yes, of course.  That makes perfect sense. 

Without having my trusty Google Map App and a GPS that doesn't recognize "Building 7" as a valid address, i wander around a few kilometers away thankful that i may have actually been near this Building 7 during a previous errand.   After asking for several directions and parking in what would be an illegal spot in the states, i located # 7 in Knowledge Village.  i enter with absolutely no expectations of achieving my goal.  But low and behold i find the right room, i have the correct paper work and in return they hand over all the necessary cards i need!  As i am about to leave i decide to kindly suggest to the man in the kandora behind the counter that if they update the texts sent out it would be so helpful for those of us receiving them.  "Did you know the text told me to come to Media City not the Knowledge Village Post Office?"  He waves his hand and says, "This is Media City!  It's all one area, everyone knows this!"  Uh... OK everyone but me and google maps!!  (Yes, i sound all big and bad in my head!) Who am i, a 2 month expat, to argue with a national?  So, i really just sigh and walk out the door.  Luckily the door is far enough away that as i am walking i overhear an Arabic woman stand up and come to my defense and tell the man in no uncertain terms the text they send are ridiculous and these are NOT the same area.  The conversation is complete with lots of hand motions and loud voices.  And although i have come to learn that Arabic conversations can often sound like someone is getting a major tongue lashing when in fact it is just a friendly conversation, it makes me feel better going with the idea that she really let him have it.  On the way back home i was stuck in traffic directly in front of this sign.  Blue sign from traffic rule #10 and evidence that i am not crazy, these are two different areas

After 4 months of driving i no longer have sweaty palms on the steering wheel and my heart doesn't hammer when i have to drive on Sheikh Zayed road.  i take on new locations with no directions like some great explorer off to discover the great unknown.  When i use the horn now, it is no longer the polite short US, "Yoo Hoo, do you see me on your left?" tap on the wheel but a long drawn out Arabic, "Move out of my way" signal.  i have come to accept that i may never have a quick enough draw on the accelerator at a stop light.  (If i am waiting at a red light and watching for the green like a hawk waiting to pounce it's prey, in the amount of time it takes for my brain to register the light is green and i move my foot from brake to accelerator, i am honked at as if i have been sitting at the light answering emails on my phone.  i felt better yesterday when even the Dubai Police were honked at for waiting 1 nano second before punching through the green.)


Arriving at destinations now become huge accomplishments.  The kids have learned driver's  frustration mode and know it requires complete silence if they want to arrive sometime before the birthday party ends.  Even quick trips to the store are filled with prayers asking for safety, parking spots and quiet roundabouts.  Thankfully my fear has waned and although a drive in the car will never be considered a "joy ride" i no longer consider the task at hand a grueling challenge that will make me sick to my stomach.  


Now i'm off to research "directions" for today's birthday party.  Wish me luck!




Addendum:  Took us 1 and 1/2 hours, 3 separate maps and numerous "Where are we!?" to reach the party.  (For the record Google Maps said it should take us 38 minutes.  i'll tell you what,  Google Maps has never driven in Dubai before.)  Luckily, we were only 30 minutes late which according to US standard time is clearly LATE but since we currently live on Arab time we were actually 15 minutes early!  My other consolation... A 10 year Dubai resident found her way to the mall straight away but got lost in the parking garage! and arrived 10 minutes after i did.    

           
                               









  

Bucket List

For the past 9 months my kids have been constructing their Dubai Bucket List.  The obvious have included missions like "Ride a camel."  Just as they scratch off one item, they quickly add another in its place.  The camel list alone has evolved from... 

• ride a camel (check)
• taste camel milk (check) to....
• visit camel farm 2 hours away to taste the fresh milk 
• invite other daddies over for a "Daddy BBQ Camel Cook off" (after discovering camel meat for sale in the butchery)

However at the very tip top of the list, slotted at #1 has always been 
 "Going to the top of the 

Burj Khalifa."

(In case you haven't seen the latest Mission Impossible 4 movie, like myself, and have NO idea what i'm talking about click here to get a visual of the Khalifa.

  
While Riley researched Emirate clothing before our arrival, this guy read everything he could about the World's Tallest Building.  He is our resident expert.  (Scroll to the bottom to see his report.)  In January both kids were elated when their sleepy eyes spotted the landmark upon landing after 16 hours of travel. 


The Burj is visible from pretty much everywhere in Dubai so there is a constant beckoning to my Littles.   "Come to the top... Come to the top..." it seems to whisper.  Our plan was to take a trip up during Spring Break but we discovered one week advanced notice isn't early enough time to get tickets.  Tickets are constantly sold out and we refused to pay the four times pay hike to purchase last minute will call tickets.


Three weeks ago we reserved our time slot to the top and decided to make the night big and festive.

  We started with one of our favorite cuisines, Lebanese.  

(Not sure where the funny red coloring is coming from but i promise no one has been sunburned... yet.)

With outside seats and almost perfect views of the Burj Khalifa overlooking the Dubai fountains we had music and entertainment every 30 minutes.  (Think Bellagio fountains in Vegas only MUCH bigger!)  

This is only about a third of the fountain 

   
Our tickets were for 8:30PM so promptly at 8:15 we entered the World's Largest Mall in order to get in line for the World's Tallest Building.  You'd never know from the outside that they are connected but supposedly they are.  (i am guessing this is NOT the same entrance Tom Cruise used for his movie scene.)

After waiting in line,

Several photo ops

  and some shameless Lego advertising, we finally reached the elevator!

(Again, with the lighting!  Chris really hasn't turned that gray overnight.)  

This trip was all about the kids but i'll confess i really couldn't wait for the elevator ride.  It is supposedly the fastest ear popping elevator trek in the world and i couldn't wait to try it out.

Only problem it is SO fast and smooth by the time i was done snapping this picture and wondering when the lift was going to begin its haul up, i look and see we are already on the 72 floor!  No kidding!  i missed half of the ride up and didn't even know it!!  

(Chris theorizes it really is just a Truman Show conspiracy stunt.  One quick ride inside an elevator to a movie set where mirrors and video screens deceive you into believing you are 124 stories in the air.  Anything is possible in Dubai.) 

Less than a minute ride in a disco ball of an elevator we arrive!  Although there were no dare devil stunts or dramatic music it was still  

the moment he had been waiting for!
The view from the top really is amazing and Kyle had fun searching for familiar buildings from a different vantage point.  Instead of peering up at them, he was looking down.

Bird's eye view of the fountain show.  We realized how huge the water show was from up here.  Those 3 circles are only part of the show.


We took it all in, the city lights, the breeze and the slight sway of the building.   


Standing on the 124th floor and looking up at the remaining floors of the 160 story building you realize again how crazy big this thing is!

There are so many fascinating facts on the building go HERE to read more.  


And because Dubai just isn't Dubai without something quirky and unexpected, i thought i would show you this as i am pretty sure you won't find this fun fact on the above web site...

No, your eyes aren't deceive you that is in fact 
DUCT TAPE. ON. THE. BURJ.  HUH?!?

If little legs are skinny enough, which they just so happen to be around our house, you can slip them through a thin space in the Plexiglas and hang your feet over the side of the 124th story. 


Pretty bucket worthy if you ask me.





We couldn't resist finishing the evening with a classic cheesy tourist picture. 

End result two happy kids and one more box checked off the Bucket List.  

"I want to tell you about the world's tallest building called the Burj-Khalifa.  It is world famous.  The Burj Khalifa started growing on Jan 2004 and was completed on January 2010.  Two men died building the Burj-Khalifa.

The tower was built to sway gently in the wind 10.6 feet.  The biggest problem in building it was keeping the wet concrete from hardening because when the concrete was shot up to only 50ft it can harden almost right away since the temperature can reach 130 degrees in Dubai. 

There are 57 elevators that can go up and down 160 stories at 40 mph!  It's height is 829.84 meters, more than half a mile!  The concrete tower is coated in glass from top to bottom.

A man named Alan Robert tried to climb it.  It took him 6 whole hours to climb the tower!  The day after the grand opening lightning struck the top of the tower.  Fortunately nothing was broken.  Sometimes you cannot see the top of it because of the clouds.  When I go to Dubai I will send you some pictures of the inside."

                           Kyle Burnett
                                        December 2011

Good Morning!

In the morning when you sleepily grab that first cup of coffee and absentmindedly stir in the cream and sugar...

Remember you have adventurous kids!

It's Drier Than i Thought Around Here...

Before we packed our bags i did LOTS of research on Dubai to help prepare myself and my family for the adventure ahead.  i read about the quirks and limitations we would encounter once we took up residence.  i knew my possessions were "subject to inspection and confiscation" while in customs to insure i didn't try to sneak in any unwelcome contraband.  Most items on the banned list really were not a problem for us to go without.  Things like "erotic statues" and "fire arms" are not going to be missed around our house.  i also knew i wouldn't be able to just "pick up" a bottle of wine at my local store even if only to make our favorite spaghetti sauce.  Our customs paperwork clearly said, "No alcohol content of any kind are allowed in."  (Even now i am afraid my super cute kitchen chalkboard lined with wine corks from memorable dinners may have been "confiscated."  i am still holding out hope it ended up in the wrong box and is sitting in storage rather than rotting away in the local UAE dumpster.)


The thing is, you CAN buy alcohol around here under certain conditions.  All the local 5 star hotels will sell it within their restaurants (as long as the hours you order it do not fall within in a Muslim holy day.)  The other option is to apply for a liquor license once you receive your residency visa so that you can actually buy a bottle of wine to enjoy at home.  This license allows you to enter into one of the very few discreetly unmarked buildings and purchase various wines and liquors to take home.  No mention of alcohol is listed on the store front.  In fact for weeks i drove by a "liquor store" in Dubai assuming it was a little flower shop from all the pretty flowers affixed to the windows.  There is a hefty 30% tax and a limit on the amount you can purchase.  There is also an absolutely NO TOLERANCE law on drinking and driving.  One glass of wine will incapacitate you from driving over the next 12 hours.  The smell of alcohol on your breath while behind the wheel or a bottle of unopened wine in your trunk without a liquor license can land you straight in jail, without passing go. 


We knew these things so none of it was a surprise.  The surprise did occur when i started restocking my kitchen pantry with the basic staples.  Remember this post where i couldn't even make cookies taste decent?!  Well, part of that would be because vanilla extract has ALCOHOL IN IT which would therefore render me incapable of buying it!!  After looking in 8 different stores, i surrendered and bought this weird little tub of powdered vanilla thinking regular vanilla extract must just be something the UAE doesn't ship in.

i tell Chris about how i think it's odd i can't find real vanilla anywhere.  He says nonchalantly, "Well, probably because it has alcohol in it."  WHAT?!?  Seriously!!  How much of that stuff would you have to drink to feel the effects?  After asking a fellow local mamas, they confirm that is indeed the reason there is no vanilla extract to be found along with other items like red wine vinegar.  After attempting the powder in our first batch of cookies the entire family, including indiscriminate spoon licking children, decide NO vanilla is better than the chemical powdery stuff.  We will make due.  Really, it isn't causing us extreme distress but cookies, pancakes, banana bread, muffins just aren't the same without it.


Yesterday, my amazing fellow expat friend from Michigan brought me something...!

She had her sister-in-law from England sneak bring it in for me during their trip here.  i think she is fabulous for many reasons but her bootlegging skills are now my favorite.  Now when i open my cabinet i pretty much hear a chorus singing.  Even though i did nothing on my own, besides complain once to get it, it feels like some weird well earned badge of honor to have vanilla in my pantry.  For the first time ever i noticed the alcohol content on the label ~ 41%.  Who knew?


We just ate our first batch of PERFECT chocolate chip cookies!

A Different Easter

This weekend has been by far the MOST unconventional, unusual and quirky Easter ever.  While there were many moments carrying overtones of the Easter holiday and the way it is commonly celebrated at home, in the end it was just plain different.  Life here is giving us lessons in the beauty of "Different."  


This new friend of ours,  Different,  is teaching us to peel away the stark contrasts we think we know and gaze at what is really true.  The truth this week is this;  You don't need fuzzy little chicks, beautiful bouquets of lilies, perfectly pink dyed eggs, new Easter clothes and a formal church service on Sunday to celebrate Easter.  Believe it or not the same God that is working in America and rose on the third day just so happens to be present in places as far off as Dubai.  




We went to church on Friday instead of Sunday (cuz that's what you do here...) and instead of taking pictures in new Easter clothes nestled among fragrant blooms like we have in the past,

we were content with our little patch of green.  (Only Ry scored a new dress which was completely by accident.)

Friday night our family made a bee line to the desert for an evening safari.

Typically during this time of year a light colored grass blankets my yard and trees sprinkled with blossoms announce Easter's arrival.  

But this year my kids were rolling and running down sandy hills in the biggest sandbox ever,

riding camels like they were going out of style

 and handling falcons like no body's business.

Instead of filling our home with family who know you and love you best

and little friends my kiddos have had since before they could talk, 

we had brunch in different places with new friends we have quickly come to love.

While two or three helpings of dessert are pretty fabulous at an Easter buffet,

eggs covered with real paint and then hid in the hot sun... not so much.

At home pink has always been her choice of color when it comes to dying eggs.  Imagine our excitement when we unexpectedly found an actual egg dying kit!

(Only to find 4 of the 6 colors actually working and one of them is black... weird.)

The egg hunt itself?!  Usually little bodies are dressed in their Sunday best darting in and out of flowering bushes filling their large wicker baskets with sweet treasures.  

Flowering bushes and Easter baskets are pretty much nonexistent around here.    

In addition to that, Mamas from all over the world inadvertently left all large wicker Easter baskets in storage back "at home" only to realize upon arriving in Dubai.  It's ok though, because if anyone knows how to rally it's Mommies who want to make memories for their Littles and Littles just itching for some candy.

All the differences of the weekend and some of my longing for the signs of spring fell away as we set our sights on Easter.

Early Sunday morning we sank our toes into the sand and shells, watched the sun rise above the Persian Gulf and worshiped with Christians from all over the world gathered on a public beach for an Easter sunrise service.  

Pretty amazing it was!  A beautiful reminder to us of God's love for the world, regardless of our differences.

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16