Change of Scenery

11 days prior to the kid's Spring Break, i was a single mama.  Chris traveled to Hong Kong and Beijing during that time.  Oddly enough, it hit me half way into his trip that i was indeed in the Middle East in a country sandwiched between Saudi Arabia and Iran ALL. BY. MYSELF.   It was more of a "Hmmm? Go figure," moment than anything.  i was ok with it.  i didn't freak out, feel nervous or even a tad bit scared.  The first thought running through my head was, "Am i really old enough to be doing this?!"  Apparently i am.  It was fabulous however, when my other half came home and we were a team again.  The cherry on top was that his homecoming started our vacation!  


While other friends from school were traveling to some exotic and now not so distant lands such as Egypt, Petra, and Thailand for the week, we decided to take what we thought would be a mini and manageable getaway for a few nights and enjoy a little change of scenery. (Is that even possible in the desert?)  We were excited to have Daddy back home and were looking forward to some R&R.  We purchased a resort weekend online believing it was an hour past the more conservative Emirate of Abu Dhabi which is known for some of its beautiful islands.

The kids had never been to Abu Dhabi before so there were a few buildings i was looking forward to showing them as we passed through on our way to Jebel Dhanna. 

Circle, Pancake, Frisbee Building?

Unfortunately we did more than just pass through.  The kids got to view some of the buildings from every angle, side and time of day as we spent a good hour lost off course.  There is simply no way to explain how or why roads are marked the way they are... oh wait, they aren't marked at all!  The direction for this resort was and i quote, "Turn on the exit right after the dome hospital."  WHAT?!  After an hour of being lost we discover we have another 3 hours to go, that is IF we can find the correct roads.  There's a little girl in tears in the backseat saying, "Mommy, I really don't want to waste my vacation driving around, I was looking forward to this!" and a daddy in the front about to burst a blood vessel.  i was seriously hoping this "mini & manageable trip" was going to be worth it.

  
25 rounds of 20 Questions, 1 short lived game of "Eye Spy" (pointless game while driving in the desert!) 2 roadside potty breaks in the sand, 4 calls to the resort, temperatures peaking at 108, 15 desperate wails by the driver and FIVE AND A HALF hours later... WE ARRIVE!  Our arrival was followed by a spontaneous celebratory dance on the balcony.


Thankfully the first things my kids spied from the balcony was monkey bars and a sand soccer field which seemed to compensate for the drive.  Whew!! 

Kyle vs. Waldo

Even having to cover eyes for a sudden burst of sand in the face can't ruin monkey bars. 


The beach was unlike any we have ever been too.  We could walk out forever to find all sorts of critters and crabs to tickle fingers and toes.

But the Golden Ticket was found here...

Throughout the day i would look around for one or both of my Littles only to find them tucked away in some hammock.

  

Where else can you find complete relaxation and heart racing thrills all in one place?

Look what happens when you make a quick dash to the pool for some more sunscreen, somebody swipes your spot.

Since we ventured quite a ways from Dubai we found ourselves in a bit more conservative area.  At one point i SO desperately wanted to take pictures of some women i spotted at the beach in their full abayas and niqab.  Although i have seen women numerous times at the beach in this attire, i was in the middle of pulling out my camera because these 3 women walking together draped in black were such a stark contrast against the turquoise water and white sand and the lighting was beautiful!  It had National Geographic written all over it!  But my conscience halted me and spoke to me about how they may feel intruded upon and how it wouldn't be very considerate of me to just start snapping their picture without their permission.  As i am stuffing my camera back into its case, i look up to catch one more glimpse of them.  i suddenly realize one of the ladies is holding up her Blackberry in front of her face for what seems to be an instantaneous photo shoot pointed right at me!!  (And trust me, this white girl isn't going to make it into National Geographic anytime soon.)

That evening at dinner when Riley had to use the toilet (it's what they call it here and i don't like it but if i call it anything else they hardly know what i am asking for) i took these pictures and didn't even care who saw me.

Men's

Women's

A noteworthy moment happened during our stay.  Upon checking in the receptionist asked where we were coming from and for the first time in 3 months we answered "Dubai" instead of California.  Even more significant was the fact that for the first time when the children referred to "going home" they also meant Dubai.

i am pleased to say we made it home in about 4 hours and although it wasn't super exotic and yet still very far away, much relaxation and fun was had by all.

Beyond the Burqa

At the risk of sounding politically incorrect, am going to share with you an honest tale in homeschooling.  i share it because i recognized the pure innocence behind it all.  It was one those "from the mouth of babes" moments which always tend to melt my heart.  i love the simple innocence of children and wish they could stay wrapped in it forever.


One of the  many things i loved about homeschooling was the chance for my children to explore any topic their heart desired.  We had a curriculum we followed but within that they had the freedom to unearth any other topic or subject that interested them.  SHOCKINGLY, my son wanted to continue the topic of ninjas after a brief introduction during World History.  He checked out lots of books and ravenously read any kid-appropriate material he could get his hands on.  The following week's chapter in World History was about the spread of Islam.  (Anyone see where this is going?)  We checked out lots of books on the Middle East and Islam.  As the kiddos were flipping through newly checked out books and glancing at pictures on the way home from the library, they both begin to squeal excitedly, "Mom!  Did you know there are such things as Ninja WOMEN in Islam!?"  After almost spewing my latte all over the steering wheel we made an immediate classroom diversion into the explanation and research of the dress of women in the Middle East.  


This occurred months before we had any inclination at all that we may be moving to Dubai.  Upon learning about our future destination, the kids took it upon themselves to discover all they could about Dubai.  Riley decided to write a report on how and why woman dress the way they do and share it with her group of friends. 
            

Imagine how much more we have learned upon arriving here and living within the culture.  By no means do i consider myself an expert but i will attempt to share some of the things we have discovered.  

  (The following images are not my own.)

The Burqa~

(picture taken from the internet)

A complete loose covering that hides the entire face.  

From what i have been told the few women we have see wearing this type of covering are typically from Afghanistan.  i have also seen women completely covered and going as far as wearing black gloves on their hands.  This is uncommon and NOT a requirement in the UAE.

Abaya~  Arabic for Robe

(Picture taken from the internet)

The black dress worn over other clothes.  

We have seen everything from very simple black to amazing ethereal flowing abayas that make the women wearing them look like they are floating on air.  Some are bedazzled with crystals or have ornate cutouts at the sleeve.  This is very common attire and found in all sorts of styles through out Dubai.   (Even by my own Little when she is playing.)

The Niqab~ 

(Picture taken from the internet)

The Niqab covers the face but not the eyes.  

This type of dress is also common in the UAE and is what Kyle based his original hypothesis on.  (However, you will be happy to know he has since moved on from categorizing them as such.)      

The Hijab

(Picture taken from the internet)

 Some women chose to wear just the Hijab 

which covers the head only, as it is considered holy, and is sometimes worn in bright colorful styles. 

The niqab may or may not accompany the abaya.   

While at a mosque, we were informed that Muslim women are only required to cover their arms, legs and head.  This was also mandatory for me in order to enter a tour to a mosque as seen here.  The additional face covering is typically worn by a married woman whose husband doesn't want to share her beauty with other men.

At first this all seemed so foreign and different to us.  We couldn't help but watch and wonder about these mysterious women.  Once in the elevator i saw a woman in an niqab stealing glances at me.  Every time i looked her way she would avert her eyes.  As i smiled over at her veiled face i recognized the awe and wonder she held in her eyes.  It was the same look i had for her upon arriving...the disbelief that someone could dress so different from me and be completely at ease with it. 

At the beach a few days later i saw a beautiful family of five.  The husband and children were swimming with wild abandon in the ocean.   The wife amused herself and her young her daughter on the beach.  She appeared to tell her husband to pay closer attention to the children in the water.  She was continually chasing after her toddler whose diaper was weighted down with sand and water.   Every time she caught up to her she'd wipe sand out of her mouth and tell her to stop eating it.  Once as she was sitting by herself i looked over at her and smiled.  It seemed the only difference between the Mama from the West and the Mama from the East was that she appeared tethered to the sand by a black abaya and niqab.  i wondered about her.  Did she want to run into the water freely with her family?  What did she think as she watched them seated from her metaphorical bleacher on the beach?   i heard her once call to her family but they weren't able to hear her as her voice was muffled by the veil.  i wanted so badly to see the beach from HER view.  What thoughts went through her head as the bikini clad mom in front of her played tag with her children?  Does she feel the same way i did when i accidentally found myself in a nudist park?  Shocked and embarrassed that some people feel so comfortable walking around in public with nothing on? (i know, it's a whole other post that's NOT going to happen!)

(This was circulating on FB a while back and echoed my musings exactly.)

Much of the stereotypes that i unknowingly brought with me to Dubai are starting to dissipate.  i would guess many of the above pictures are unsettling to most of us.  Possibly even the fact i let my daughter wear one.  i realize that initially the sight of the unfamiliar can render in us various feelings such as; nervousness, caution, wonder, curiosity, judgement, fear or a myriad of other emotions.  i even discovered the American in me wanted to free those poor ladies from the trappings that held them back.  As if exempting them from their layers would rid them of all their problems.  Even though i may not agree with all that is wrapped up in the meaning of the veil,  i desire for my family and i to view them the same way the Creator of the heavens and earth sees them.  

Fearfully and wonderfully made, and greatly loved by Him.  

All of us are broken and find ways to attempt to fix ourselves through whatever means possible.  Cultural trappings and masks are used in a variety of ways throughout all cultures as an attempt to hide our fallenness.  My hope for our family is that through our wanderings here we will learn to see Beyond the Burqa to the person behind the mask and demonstrate to people of all cultures and race the love and compassion that is due them. 

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

 We love because he first loved us.  Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.

                                                                              1 John 4:18-20

New Wheels

Lately we have been researching cars as it is time to make a purchase.  At first i really didn't care WHAT sort of car i drove because ANYTHING is better than a taxi.  But... after only a few months in Dubai and being surrounded by all these high end cars, i am starting to think maybe we should upgrade for the next few years.  Ferrari's, Lamborghini's and Rolls Royce's are more common than camel sightings around these parts.  I mean, when in Dubai, right?!  A 2 seater seems completely impractical but let's face it, all practicality flies out the window the minute you board a flight to Dubai.  AND, it is true the other day my little Jetta rental actually out drove the Ferrari next to me.  i was giggling uncontrollably as he revved his engine and i sailed past him because i didn't have to come to a complete stop to scale the mountainous speed bumps.  

BUT, if ever there was a time to upgrade now just may be it.  Especially since i have found a Lamborghini that is actually in our price range! 

As you can see it will need to be cleaned up a bit.

You should have heard the excitement in Kyle's voice when he spotted it.

Still giggling!

Life's a Beach

A captivating writer fills stories with imagery and analogies to enable his or her audience to grasp the complexity of a situation or the depth of emotions.  

The DESERT is often used to symbolize trials, barrenness or struggle in life.  It was not lost on me a few weeks ago that i live in the desert.  Symbolically i felt it.  It was a challenging week and i felt exhausted and drained.  Many of you sent me encouraging messages which meant so much to me.  

THANK YOU!

i believe there is much beauty to be found in the arid places in life, both physically and allegorically.  It is through trials and struggles that we are challenged to find ways to cultivated joy in the unexpected places.  

Look for it!  

Moments of true joy based on something other than circumstance can be breathtaking.

The past few days we are thankful to be gazing at a different view.  We consider ourselves super blessed, because although we are living in the second largest desert in the world, we also happen to be FIVE minutes from this... FIVE MINUTES!

Which means the last couple of days we have been enjoying the allegory of

LIFE'S A BEACH!

i am the girl that ALWAYS wanted to live on the beach.  My college roomies and i always had "plans" to move closer to the beach.  (Ahem, you know who you are!)  The closest i ever got i was 20 minutes to the nearest sandy shore.  Trust me, i worked every angle to strategically plan my classes so every Friday i was free to attended 'Oceanography 101' ... all day long.

At the time my sights were set on the Pacific Ocean with girlfriends, magazines and a Mai Tai.  i am happy to say now it's the Persian Gulf with my family, sand toys and juice boxes.  

The sand here is super fine and easily blankets little legs and toes in a covering of sugar.

The water is saltier than the Pacific and can sting your eyes, but see if we care.  Wading way out into the water and standing only waist deep is pretty fantastic, especially when you are under 4 feet tall.

We've spent days playing, 

relaxing and just being silly.  

(Camels on the beach hardly phase the Littles anymore.)

i revel in the calming blues, the constant lapping of the waves and the giggles of my children.  i love the smell of the sunscreen as i spray their skinny limbs that are dancing to dash out into the water.  A happy day is when searching for seashells was the toughest job you had.  From start to finish whole process is therapeutic for me.

 i don't even care when we get home and my kids wiggle out of their wet suits and i see copious amounts of itty bitty sea shells falling from their bodies scattering all over the floors.  

It's just a sweet reminder 

that life in the desert is sometimes a day at the beach!  

Our New Sandbox

i must preface this post with the following.....

We are SO thankful for our Villa/home!  i literally cried happy tears when it was confirmed days before our move that we had secured this place.  Really!  It was the one place we viewed in October where we felt it would be a perfect fit for our family for the next few years.  And getting our shipment from home after 2 months in this desert is like Christmas in March!  We opened boxes with anticipation of what's inside.  Sleeping in our own bed with our own sheets and pillows is the epitome of cozy comfort.  Everything showed up in one piece and we had fabulous movers that unpacked each box, assembled all furniture and even hung our clothes in the closets (not necessarily the correct ones mind you).  Yes, it sounds all very fairytale~ish but that is pretty much where the sidewalk ends.  Literally!

With that said, this "glass is half full" sort of girl was at her wits end this week.  If a move from one city to another is exhausting then settling in half way across the world is excruciatingly painful!  i am not ready to throw in the towel and purchase my one way ticket back home yet but there was much weariness this week.   

Reader Beware:  Venting ahead!

First of all, we had to start off the week by saying goodbye to some wonderful people that not only gave us expectational service for the past 2 months but have also become our friends.  Although we can visit them anytime, it isn't the same as having them downstairs and bumping into them in the elevators.

To ease the goodbyes, we were anticipating the excitement as a family of moving into our new home.  It wasn't long before we learned to take deep breaths and repeat the expat mantra.

  "Welcome to Dubai..."  

(The meaning is all in the tone.  It is said with a sigh and no enthusiasm.)  

My first chore in the villa was tiding up the dead gecko.

Really, this should have been no big deal, but keep in mind that typically you clean a house BEFORE you move in which for us means BEFORE our shipment arrived which would concurrently mean i have not one single cleaning supply in my possession.  i simply resolve to call a cleaning service to help me out.  After 10 phone calls of broken English, i discover there are numerous cleaning services happy to come and assist me but i must have all the supplies on hand.  OK, no problem... i can do that.  i set off to navigate the numerous isle of cleaning products at one of the local hypermarts.  However, the type of cleaning that needs to be done here is not typical of that which i am use to.  Besides dead geckos there is sand constantly piling up under my door.  Every. Day.

After an hour of shopping, my cart is filled with a new vacuum that greatly resembles the shop vac we left at home to suck out gold fish and small toys from the back seat of the car, copious amounts of sponges, 2 different mops, toilet brushes, dust pans and 8 different cleaning products, 6 of which i have never seen before.  Once the cleaning lady arrives i proudly show her my newly acquired goods.  She surveys my arsenal and tries to explain to me in broken English that what she really needs to adequately clean my house is not in my stockpile.  She nevertheless gives me one head side nod and says, "No problem" which really translates.  "Another poor housewife that isn't allowed to work and can't even buy the right cleaning products.  i will do my best to rescue her."

Then there are appliances.  In the past when we have moved, any new appliance purchase is an exciting endeavor.  From picking out the perfect item to using it for the first time.  Shiny new appliances make a mundane activity suddenly seem enjoyable.  It could be all the new buttons and lights or just thinking the new and improved model MUST be doing a much better job than the older version.  Well, thanks to this little plug and a change in something called voltage we had got to purchase all new appliances.

From stove/oven dishwasher, dryer, washer, coffee maker, blender, toaster,  mixer... you get the idea, we had to get it all.  First off trying to decide what to get is overwhelming, because let me tell you they all do things they don't do in the US.  We didn't even know what questions to ask while purchasing.  My first load of dishes came out dirtier than they started.  i now know i should ask about the salt i need to balance the hard water and the special rinsing product to help the dishes dry in addition to the detergent needed to clean.

Every bathroom, kitchen and laundry room has this handy dandy little drain, right where i always want to step.  i can't even tell you how many times i have kicked that annoying little cover off.  i figured out after my 5th load of laundry WHY i so desperately need this by my dryer!  You see, my brand new dryer doesn't completely dry, yet is extremely high maintenance.  It has 3 separate compartments to be cleaned out after every other load.  The lint screen (i totally have THAT down), a second lint barrel that looks a lot like a pool filter which has to be removed, taken outside and hosed off.  (Make mental note to buy hose at store next time.)  And a third container which must be pulled out and drained.  Apparently this is the water that has been sucked out of my freshly washed clothes and needs to be disposed of.  

If i were a good consumer, i would sort through all the manuals, set aside the Arabic directions, and attempt to read the broken English directions to minimize my frustration.  However, being the the competent "housewife" that i am, i like to think i am able to use my new blender and make a cup of coffee without reading a manual.  When after a few minutes later i am almost reduced to tears, i surrender, sort through the 4 inch stack of manuals to find out how to make something blend, toast, wash, or cook.  

i was so happy one day to pull out my rice steamer from home.  The oldest appliance in my kitchen and suddenly my favorite!  i could hardly wait to use it!  i knew EXACTLY how to cook rice in it.  i plugged it into the transformer (because i know it needs additional voltage help) only to find out i burned out both my steamer and the transformer because the wattage was too high!  

i have to remember buy drinking water at the store... i live in the desert!  When i forget, that is a problem.

i also have to remember i now have the latest manual garbage disposal.  My eco~conscience compost collector which must be carried into the car, driven to school and disposed of at the kiddo's compost pile in the school garden.  

This place is a complete dichotomy and at times i have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that i can locate an ATM that dispenses gold...

But i have to do my hair in a storage closet because there is not outlet within 25 feet of any bathroom.  Outlet and light in storage closet makes way more sense than in the bathroom.  (Seriously!  i cannot make this stuff up!)

Sometimes when i am supposed to be searching out solutions for our villa issues, i find this and escape inside.  

It may sound ridiculous but it is the one place in Dubai where i know EXACTLY what to expect.  i know how to pronounce every item on the menu,  i know what my order will taste like before i get it.  They always speak the English i can understand AND even if i don't have cash they will still serve me because they take credit card!  It is a nice little reprieve but as i drain my drink, i know i have to go back out into the world because they won't let me stay there forever.  

Needless to say, by the end of this week i was feeling exhausted and a complete failure.  All the things i used to be able to do to care for my family, i was suddenly incompetent in.  i couldn't make dinner or clean the house.  i couldn't find the clothes the movers put away and i couldn't wash the dirty clothes i could find.  New friends didn't always recognize me because i was sporting the "i am not spending time in the storage room" hair do and my kids were late to school as we try to learn new short cuts.  It was hard.  i was grumpy, impatient and annoyed.  i don't do well with chaos and clutter and that was all i was surrounded by.    

How timely was this weeks women's Bible study.


"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control."

Galatians 5:22-26

It's all the things that would make this world a lovely and perfect place if we could just live these qualities out on a daily basis.  But unfortunately it's not in us naturally.  Oh, i am all about self control until i burned myself with the water that is turned up too high in the kitchen while the water in my master bath is cold.  You should have seen how patient i was with my kids and husband this week when they asked me where thing were.  i perfected a great pout when i realized i'd have to hire someone to hang all my pictures onto the concrete walls.  As for kindness, i'm pretty sure the only person i showed kindness to was the delivery guy who brought us our pizza.  


It didn't take long before i realized i was allowing the outward chaos of the world to constrict all inward joy and peace.  Yet, i so  much long for a life marked by love, peace, kindness and joy which spills out when i'm crushed by the circumstances around me.  i want to demonstrate these characteristics to my family and those around me in ways more tangible than just the physical means of laundry and food.  

Being pushed out of the comforts of the familiar forces me to look inward and evaluate what is really important in life.      

Riley unknowingly also shifted my perspective one afternoon.  While i was inside trying to put things away and infuriated with the sand all over my floor she calls to me from outside.  "Mom, come here a minute."  Completely frustrated and impatient i ask her what she wants.  i walk outside to find this.  

She's playing outside and cheerfully sweeping up sand, i can't even get frustrated that she has the broom and dust pan i had been looking for.  She says almost giggling, "Mommy, there is  A LOT of sand here.  i am making a sandbox with it."

i am working on filling my sandbox with the fruits of the Spirit not the chaos of my surroundings.

Epilogue

We baked our first batch of homemade cookies a few nights later.  The vanilla tasted like some gross chemical.  We had to convert cups to grams and Fahrenheit to Celsius which involved way too much thinking.  Chris ended up 'baking' them on the BBQ because i forgot to disassemble the rotisserie pieces before i heated up the oven.  It was a family effort to be sure and our sandbox is filling with the important stuff.  

(But for the record the cookies were disgusting.)